As you can tell, I have not been able to blog for over a week. Beginning on Sunday night, June 24, I took on the responsibility of worship leadership at the Pastoral Care Ministry Conference here at Wheaton. It has been many years since I've done that, but this one was clearly a call of the Holy Spirit. It was one of the passions of my heart to lead all of the people there into the presence of God, insofar as He enabled me. What an irony of sorts that I was rediagnosed with cancer within a week or so after committing to this call. I knew then that it would be a miracle if I were able to accomplish it. The radiation would drain my energy, and the doctor told me that since they would be hitting my larynx, esophagus, and trachea, I would lose my voice, not be able to sing, sound grovelly, and so on.
I heard that word, and shared it with the team members, who shared the petition for a miracle all over the world. And, indeed, I must say, that is what happened.
From the first Sunday night throughout the whole week, I was told that my voice had never been stronger, and that the worship was healing people even before teaching lectures had begun. At times, the musicians I played with had the same experience. We had to step into the hallway after leading, and continue to glory in the sense that we were caught up into heaven and that heaven had descended to us. The awesome holiness of God, and the eternal communion of saints, and the angels, archangels, cherubim, seraphim -- all of those who even now are standing in the presence of God -- were with us. And, part of the most humbling feature was simply to have been called to participate in that. I couldn't have done it myself.
The week also took a toll on me physically (as such conferences always do!) I was "exuberant and exhausted", as I shared with some friends, and am now getting back some energy. I continued to carry some additional responsibilities at work during the week, but the big feature was continuing to go for radiation. I got a break on Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday, the machine was non-functonal, so my appointment was cancelled. Friday, Margie called and asked if I could cancel, to which the doctor was very amenable. So I have to go in today and tomorrow for the last two burns (that's how I'm beginning to feel them to be!)
I have found it quite painful to swallow (even water), and I have been very thirsty. I know I will heal quickly with good sleep, less vocal exertion, and with a quick end to the treatment. I've also felt pain in the left sacro-iliac area, and in bending down to the floor to pick things up. Thanks for any prayers on this matter. I think these will also be brought into more peace and healing when I'm not as energy-stressed.
In conclusion, I simply want to praise God for the opportunity to serve in a time of limitations, and for all of the prayer support that has come from you. It is humbling and unbelievable to hear of the intercessions going on.
If God is for us, who can be against us? He who cares for the grass of the field is much more able to clothe us, we of little faith.
To His praise,
John
Recent photo of my parents in my office
